but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
