It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
