it wasn't lemon gatorade
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
