Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
