reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
