I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize