i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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