So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize