watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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