what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
