couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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