Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
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