i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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