Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
