oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize