do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize