can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
