Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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