Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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