I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
