that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
