i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
