Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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