If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
