You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
