why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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