Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
