He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
