VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
