Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize