i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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