Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize