All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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