One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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