If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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