you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
