I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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