but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
