God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
