Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
