I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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