I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
