P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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