return my video game
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
