i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
They have beer where we have blood.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
