i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
