This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
