Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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