One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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