There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
