When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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