he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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