Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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