p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
