glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
