I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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