Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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