idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
