dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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