Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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