What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
