The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
