some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
