so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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