I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
