idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
