dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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