At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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