I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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