bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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