apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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