Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
