shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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