you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
