he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
