I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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