Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
